Christopher | Relationship Counselling

Some therapeutic approaches rely heavily on using tools and strategies with a rational focus that are promised to FIX your problems. For me, relationship work is not about FIXING – it’s about ‘knowing’ how to RESPOND with LOVE AND KINDNESS firstly to ourselves and then we can bring more of that to our partner. Responding with greater love and kindness to the triggers, hurts, loneliness, unmet needs, and the older traumas and negative patterns we bring into our relationships from our past.

Our true knowing of how to turn things around comes from our heart. Working through the hard emotional stuff doesn’t always seem rational, at least not at first and this is where you need guidance.

I hold a gentle unbiased space and facilitate an enquiry process that quickly gets to root causes of your conflict and relationship issues. We can find greater ease, joy, and love in our relationships, but relationships are never all easy. The aspects of self that are needing to heal show themselves as we ‘trigger’ each other in our relationship dynamics. This often becomes painful, frustrating, and exhausting, but there is purpose in this –to open up opportunities for healing, and in turn make space for love to grow. A healthy relationship is one that is always open to the next layer of growth and healing so we can keep expanding our capacity to give and receive love.

I will offer you common sense/heart-centred/holistic tools that help you to pause and become self-aware in the hard moments so you can start to RESPOND and RECONNECT faster – this is what really makes the difference! Less time hurting each other and less severity in the hurt. More time spent in that softer space together–listening, understanding, connecting, supporting, and loving.

Some issues will need to be addressed and FIXED. These tend to be the practical stuff and I can help you to identify these or offer new ideas on how to do so.

Not to mention you are probably struggling with you are probably being very hard on yourself in different ways – learning how to and practicing being kinder to yourself is also very important – without that it is impossible to turn negative patterns around.

All sounds straightforward right! But no, of course it is easier said than done – this is where couples support is needed. We are not meant to get through the really hard layers of growth and healing alone.

Born in Christchurch I am in my mid 40’s. I enjoy life with my partner and two boys. Making the most of our beautiful outdoors I love surfing, golfing, tramping, gardening, cooking, and working on being the best version of myself I can be.

I am a trained counsellor (with certificate in trauma informed therapy) and healing practitioner.

Also trained in Fine Arts, Graphic Design, and Maori Art History. I have previous work experience in the industry of design, marketing, and web–this is where my coaching experience started as I moved into brand and marketing consulting which naturally went into personal/life coaching and business coaching. I have worked with a wide range of businesses over the years.

 
Feel free to contact me via the Send a message - button.

Christopher